Friday, April 01, 2016

Serious Question From A Reader

Yesterday I received an email from someone who follows my blog. In it, he asks a question that has been posed to me in various guises through the years. Here's part of it, followed by my reply:

So I rented this movie the other night about Ip Man, the wing chun master. You know who he was? BRUCE LEE'S @#$%ING KUNG FU TEACHER!! Ip Man was badder than Donald Trump. Anyway there's a part in the movie where he uses his wing chun kungfu to demolish 10 black belt fighters all at once! How badass is that! It looked pretty real but I wanted to know if this is even possible. Cause I want to do that $#!t to some people I know. They have it coming, don't worry, and these punks ain't no black belts anyway. Let me know as soon as possible. Thanx, Timmy

Yes Timmy, it is possible to beat 10 Black Belts® like that, or anyone else for that matter. Actually, I do it all the time. You see, in karate and many other systems of martial arts we have solo exercises handed down through antiquity that used to be taught in secret, known as kata ― which is Japanese for "The Dance of Death." Check out this diagram of an old time karate master demonstrating a kata:

And that's all you need to know about facing multiple assailants in a crisis. Because it's common knowledge in the martial arts community that kata was created to beat the daylights out of numerous thugs simultaneously. Now go get some kata DVDs and study them at home Timmy, and get back to me when you get out of the hospital beat the hell out of those damn troublemakers. Good luck!